Each year when children go back to school it is both a relief for parents as well as a challenge. With more and more children being picked on and bullied, not to mention the challenge of a “rough” teacher, harder workload, tougher sports and afterschool activities, parents lose focus on what the experience really should be…Just that! An experience! Make each day a great learning experience for your child. Even when a mistake is made, or a challenge presents itself, try not to blow it out of proportion and keep your comments secretly to yourself and your spouse.
Keep concerns to adult conversations! Many times parents show their concern and anxiety when dealing with their children going to either, a new grade, new school or new classroom. Many times this can be overcome by talking privately, instead of publicly while your child can hear you. If you are not careful, your fears will become their fears. If your child thinks “Mom and Dad are afraid for me” why wouldn’t they be afraid? If you show that you are anxious and scared your child will pick up on this and be anxious and scared as well. If you want to make your child’s school experience wonderful you really have to pre-frame and set your child up for success by letting them become excited with your excitement for them.
For new parents, the week before school starts could be a very scary situation. Try this; each day be excited and show enthusiasm! Lead by example. Tell your children how much fun it is going to be and tell them the positive school stories that you had growing up and the wonderful friends you made. Some parents may not like the teachers or some of the students that are going to be in the classroom. Don’t start talking harshly about them and complaining. This will automatically bring the child’s attention to what negative situation before they even start school. Don’t make any predicted complications become a reality. Remember; whether you think it will or think it won’t, you are probably right!
Make sure that you do not become a hovering parent or “a helicopter parent.” Many times I’ll see a parent looking through the glass or trying to coach their child when the instructors trying to get the student to do certain things. You will have to fight this urge to want to be the fly on the wall every minute of your child’s school day. If they constantly know that you’re there how could they grow? They need to know that you can drop them off safe, tell them to have a wonderful day and be back to pick them up promptly. (School bus challenges are another article!) Parents always want to fix things and nurture their children but sometimes the best part of learning is through the experience of their own mistakes. Of course if it is a safety issue then you must intervene, but for the most part the little things about sharing, nervousness and anxieties could be really offset by a great teacher! Remember your teachers? I’m sure some of them made a mark on you that you remember to this day. I know I do!
If possible, try to get the class roster of your child’s classmates. It might be beneficial to meet some of the kids before school starts. This way your child can make friends with some of the children so on the first day of school your child already has a friend in the class. This will alleviate a lot of tension and anxieties on the first day of class.
Part of our staff here at Go No Sen Karate is Dr. Robyn Silverman. She is a child psychologist and director of our character development program. She uses the A,B,C,D,E way of saying goodbye quickly to your child! The first letter “A” is to be AFFECTIONATE! Let them know that you care and love them and you’ll be there for them! “B” is to be BRIEF! Don’t spend too much time hovering and staying over them while you watch their every move. “C” is to be CLEAR! Tell them when and where you going to pick them up and what time you’ll be back! “D” is be DIRECTIVE! Tell them what to do when you bring him into class. You can say things like “There’s Bobby, why don’t you go say hello?” and “E” is for EXIT quickly! Do not stay and watch.
I remember myself being dropped off at school many times on the first day and I was very nervous. I was anxious and I was scared but that seemed to go away as I became excited everyday to see my friends, teachers and learn new things. Make this a great opportunity for your child to grow and make it the best school year ever for yourself and your child.
Your Neighborhood Martial Art’s Instructor, Renshi Adam McCauley, Go No Sen Karate, Blue Mt. Plaza, Welcher Ave, Peekskill, NY 10566 914.734.2461 www.gonosen.com
