Lit Up
Tradition holds that if the front porch light is on, it is a welcome sign for Trick or Treaters to come to the house to ring the bell. Once the light is off, that is an indication that the hosts are finished for the evening. If people don’t answer after one or two rings, move onto the next house. Taking turns ringing the bell is a great way to teach kids about thinking of others.
Speak Up
Children can be shy but in costume, the opposite is often true. Use your child’s confidence and excitement in their new identity to encourage good manners. “Superman always says THANK-YOU when he receives a gift.” “Hello Kitty is a very polite kitty. She remembers to say “Trick or Treat” clearly and nicely.” ‘Trick or Treat’ is a greeting taking the place of “Hello AND please.” Do this before you trick or treat and only once or twice during the time. Kids are excited. They may forget. No biggie. What makes good manners? Practice!
It is fine for a child to ask for a piece of candy from her host to take back to a younger sibling who may be too tired or shy to come to the door. Most hosts commend the child for her ability to advocate for her sibling. Otherwise, a couple of pieces of candy is fine to take unless encouraged by the Host to take more or if the candies are very small such at starbursts or gum.
If someone leaves a basket of candy by their front door, take a couple of pieces and move on.
Listen Up
Be safe!! It gets dark out there! Cover the rules ahead of time – whatever they are for your family. Eating candy only at home or meeting up at a certain corner at a certain time helps kids understand the parameters of the occasion. It gets cold out there! If this is a cold year, figure out what your child is going to do with her jacket especially if she is going with someone else. If your children are going with friends, make sure she knows what to say to the chaperone. Be sure to thank the adult at the end of the night for taking her out for some fun.
Have a great time!
Jeanne Doorley is a Certified Etiquette Consultant with three elementary age children who lives in Northern Westchester. Contact her at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or visit www.etiquetteadvantageNY.com.
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