This Holiday Season, Capture the Moment
The new wave of psychology “Acceptance and Commitment Therapy” and “Mindfulness” teaches us that we are not our thoughts and to accept all of our feelings, ideas, sensations, and internal experiences without judgment or negative evaluation. Being mindful helps us to be in the moment, observing thoughts from a distance, rather than being immersed in them and having them control us.
This is particularly important around the holidays when people tend to experience heightened stress and anxiety around family relationships and obligations. Often, people are faced with spending time with the very individuals they avoid due to conflicts, differences of opinion, or painful pasts. So how does one go about being mindful, and in turn, happier this holiday season? While mindfulness takes practice and commitment, try these simple tips as you go about your day to day tasks and spend time with family and friends:
v NOTICE what’s happening for you but do not interpret or judge your experience. Are you overthinking? Spending too much time in your head? Being self-critical? Waiting for your parent, sibling, or other family member to provide harsh feedback? Focusing on people’s flaws? Drudging up old resentments?
v ACCEPT your thoughts, feelings, sensations, worries even though this process is likely new and uncomfortable. Invite all of your experiences to your “inner roundtable,” noticing when they’ve arrived, and having them “pull up a chair.” While it may seem illogical to open your arms to these sometimes painful things, resisting negative feelings and thoughts only magnifies the intensity and turns up the volume. Accept them, and they will “quiet down” more readily than you might think.
v BREATHE deeply and consciously at times, as a matter of checking in with yourself, steadying yourself, letting go, relaxing.
v REFOCUS on what’s going on in the room, the joy of the children, the music, the merriment, the good intentions, the holiday cheer – or if you find yourself without the things you may desire, sit with that as well. In a room filled with tension, this may mean focusing on a holiday decoration, an apple on the table, the shape of a bottle of wine, the color of the curtains, the sounds that fill the air.
If you make the commitment to practice these strategies even once this holiday season, they will help you to be in the moment, not in your head. The hard part for most people is accepting whatever you might find within yourself or within the room when doing so. Acceptance may feel like taking a risk, but if you choose to do so, you just might find the sense of peace that comes along with being present.
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