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Adoption Option: Taking Advantages of Today’s Technology
Back in the Stone Age, when my bff from college was being adopted, her adoption was closed. Today, she is without any records on her birth family or medical history. She had no idea of her heritage or even true birth day… fast forward 30 odd years, to when we were adopting; we were so lucky to receive medical history, parental info and contact numbers. Initially we were opposed to an open adoption ...we were fearful that it would somehow make us feel like ‘lesser parents’ or like we were sharing our kids (nothing could be further from the truth), but now were are very happy we did it, not only because the kids KNOW their story thru pictures, and documents but there is medical information for the future.
Adoption Option: Adoptive mom nesting
When you get pregnant you prepare, you nest and you have a time line; a due date. In adoption you don’t always have this luxury. With my first child, we knew when he was going to be born, so we had a few months to prepare and “nest”. With my daughter, however, we had 6 days!!!
ADOPTION OPTION: The dreaded Home Study!!!
The past two months I have spoken about starting the process of adopting... We found our agency & our lawyers. Next we had to start the approval process. In NY State you start with the Home Study. What is that?? What do I need to do? What does all of this mean? OMG. The questions and fear that are put into your heads over the home study!!!
Adoption option: Finding your home in the adoption world. Part I
As I stated in the last article--where do you start?? I needed HELP!! LOTS of HELP!!! So, we began with the yellow pages, which led us to several adoption agencies in Manhattan. We had our first interview in September 1999 with an agency that was well known and had a great reputation. The interview was HORRIBLE. It was a degrading, humiliating, offensive experience. They judged us on everything and asked us questions that no one should ever be asked. We were horrified!! We never stayed to complete our interview. During the “5 minute break” we went outside for some “air” and went straight home.
ADOPTION OPTION: The season of KIDS!
No matter what your religion or where you were born...no matter how or what you celebrate; the month of December is an event, tailor made for children.
This is the season full of family and friends, lights and winter themes; woven with the promise that if they were “good” or “lucky” or “generous of spirit or heart” that they, children all over the world, will be rewarded with all sorts of treasures both big and small. This is the one time of year that I really don’t talk much about the fact that the kids are adopted. Why, you may ask? Because, I feel that this time of year that all children want to feel like children everywhere... full of anticipation, hope & joy! That overwhelming, exuberant, common feeling of 'what is to come'!
ADOPTION OPTION: Look a like!!
People are always shocked when I tell them that my children are adopted. In fact , it has turned into a sort of a game with me. When I meet someone new, I wait to tell them they are adopted until AFTER they have met my kids and tell me how darling they are (which they always do) ...the look of shock on their face often follows a question like “ are you sure” or “ which kids”.
Adoption Option: A world of FIRSTS!
Still continuing with the starting process…We did the agency, got our lawyer, and did the home study. Now, on to the paper work. Again… We had to plant a forest for the amount of paper work we had. This was before the age of computers and any online stuff. It was only 12 years ago but so much has changed!
ADOPTION OPTION Finding your home in the adoption world. Part II
Last month I spoke about finding our adoption agency. I left off discussing the 'Get Acquainted Workshop' and how wonderful it was. As I said, it is a brilliant way to meet potential parents, the agency and ask all the questions you want. You get to hear accounts from other adoptive mothers, adopted children (adults or teens) and Birth mothers who have had their children adopted thru friends in Adoption. That was a HUGE worry for me. How do adoption agencies treat their birth mothers?
Adoption Option
Happy New Year! And thus begins a new year, a decade ago I was a new mother. I can hardly believe it was so long ago yet, it seems like only yesterday my husband and I were making our way thru the maze of adoption.
Adoption Option: Giving Thanks
This is our favorite time of year. Halloween is over, the leaves are down, sweaters are on, we are ready for the snow. The children are dropping hints regarding what they want for Christmas and I am dusting off Christmas Village. I often think of this time as a reflective period. What we have accomplished, what has changed & being thankful. Thankful for kids, health, family, the standards; But also, for our Birth Mothers.
Real VS Adopted Grandparents
My family is strong. We have doctors, lawyers, Orchestra conductors, Lords in the house of parliament and Me...the only child...my mother's pride and joy! I was concerned if my mom could love a child that was not related to her, to us. I knew she would be wonderful but to truly love it... I was worried!
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