Today , I showed my daughter two photos I found. I asked her if she knew who that was and she said "yes, my birth mother". " Yes" I replied "and do you know who she is holding" "me?" There she was , my baby at 1 day old, having her birth mother kiss her goodbye. And another photo of her Birth sister, birth grandparents, us ( my husband, son and myself) all surrounding her birth mother in her hospital bed with my daughter cradled in her arms. She smiled mentioned how young I looked ( thanks a lot) and skipped away.
When we were jumping through hoops to adopt our son. we were not happy with the idea of an open adoption. We wanted a baby, more than anything, be we did not want to have to know that there was a “real” family looking over our shoulders. I , especially was worried that the birth mother would hate me or the child would like her better. However, 11 years and 2 kids later, it could not be further from the truth! I have Loved going thru all the stages of their lives with some one who is just as excited about a hiccup or a funny story as me.
We still send bi-annual photos and letters..each year I say I will cut down on the photos but I LOVE sending them and I love the kids so much and we love the families that I WANT to send them everything!!! I look forward talking to them every 6 months and bragging, worrying asking “did you struggle with math too” and getting the answer “YES I did!!!”
I am so happy that I can show my kids their prenatal records, birth family health history and ultrasounds! That was something I thought I would be sad not to have but I have both childrens ultrasounds....thanks to open adoption...who would have thought?!
Kim Bjorge, Photographer, Potter, Wildlife Rehabilitator and Croton Mom
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