Last month I spoke about finding our adoption agency. I left off discussing the 'Get Acquainted Workshop' and how wonderful it was. As I said, it is a brilliant way to meet potential parents, the agency and ask all the questions you want. You get to hear accounts from other adoptive mothers, adopted children (adults or teens) and Birth mothers who have had their children adopted thru friends in Adoption. That was a HUGE worry for me. How do adoption agencies treat their birth mothers?
When we had our private meeting with our counselor, Dawn Smith-Pliner, the founder of FIA,( the adoption agency we chose) and she said, “We Need You!!” That may need further explanation. As you can see form my photo below, I am black and my husband is white (Bjorge is Norwegian). So a bi-racial child was what we were looking for. And at the time there were a number available. I was worried about passing their test...to see if we would be accepted. But the informal, love filled atmosphere told me that we were already one of them.
Dawn conveyed to us what the NY state requirements were before a child could be placed into adoptive parents' home. First, you must have a home study. I will get into the details of that next month, but to sum it up: it is a series of (2 or 3) meetings in your home with a social worker, who evaluates your home, your relationship as a couple and your potential as adoptive parents. Social workers also provide recommendations to help you get ready for a child.
Adopting parents also have to get a lawyer. Dawn recommended Rumbold and Seidelman (whom I spoke about in January’s issue). They were wonderful...equally loving women who will do everything to help insure a smooth adoption. Additionally, you must get fingerprinted to make sure you are not a pedophile or some other heinous criminal. Finally, you must get certified by a family court judge who reviews all the documentation prepared by the social worker and your lawyers. One also must cut down 10,000 trees because of the EXTREME amount of paper work! I am hoping that ten years later most of this is accomplished electronically!
The fun thing that was needed was a profile. (Back then on paper-today you just build a website!). A profile is, in effect, a brochure about the adoptive parents which the agency passes on to potential birth mothers so that they can learn about possible parents for their child. It was filled with photos of us, friends and family. Packed with information about how we met, where we live, who we were essentially. It was a sneak peek into our lives so that birth mothers could decide if they wanted to talk to us and get to know us better. It was so hard picking out photos-we had so many, and you never know what will strike a chord. For our son's birth mother, it was the photo of my husband holding his mother's sleeping kitten. For our daughter's birth mother it was our son's brilliant smile. The birth mother adores her older brother and wanted her daughter to have a great big brother too! You never know!
So we went home arms full of information, phone numbers, recommendations and helpful reading. And so started our journey ….
By Kim Bjorge, Photographer, Potter, Wildlife Rehabilitator and Croton Mom
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|