When you get pregnant you prepare, you nest and you have a time line; a due date. In adoption you don’t always have this luxury. With my first child, we knew when he was going to be born, so we had a few months to prepare and “nest”. With my daughter, however, we had 6 days!!!
I loved doing research for baby things. I read about the best car seats, strollers and cribs. I knew I wanted a Beatrix Potter nursery, since I was a teen... so I started collecting nursery items and decorations. I got the book, ‘what to expect when you are expecting’ because it did have an adoption “chapter”, now there are SHELVES of adoption preparatory books. I found out several things that I needed to stock up on… just in case we got the midnight call, we wanted to be ready.
I interviewed doctors and read up on allergies, organic options for food and toys and homemade products. I purchased only organic cotton clothes, towels, and bedding because I was not sure of the allergies and irritations he might have. I bought a hand blender so I could make all homemade baby food. I bought the safest bottles, soaps and lotions. I read, compared and researched my head off but, something was missing…I needed to do something public.
So much of the adoption process is done privately. All of the prep work is between your spouse and yourself. You don’t proclaim to the world that you are adopting because there are potential pitfalls that you may not want to be made public, so you keep quite. But I needed to have the rites and rituals of being “pregnant”. I needed the public outings, testing strollers, cooing over little rompers and having a list of the best tested products of the year. I was lucky! I got it!
I had 2 friends that were pregnant at the same time I was waiting, so they called me pregnant too! They were AWESOME! We all went nursery furniture shopping and comparing together. That was something I thought that I would not be able to do… the waiting and preparing. That was a wonderful time in my life. Men are always on the outside when waiting for a baby to arrive but the mom ‘to be’ usually has a more intimate connection with the arrival of her bundle. Having the ability to go out with my mom and friends and shop and nest and prepare was a wonderful dream that I had almost made myself give up on.
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