September is typically a month of transition for families as the long sunny days of summer quickly give way to backpacks and school schedules. While most of us usually wait until the official “new year” in January to take stock and make resolutions, the back-to-school season is a great opportunity to set intentions for the months ahead. In fact, the process of developing goals can be just as valuable and rewarding as achieving them.
For children and teens the act of formulating personal expectations provides a rich opportunity for discussion. Such a conversation about the upcoming academic year will allow you to hear what your kids are looking forward to, and more likely, what they are less excited about. Whether they are focused on grades, friends, sports, or extracurricular activities, opening a dialogue by placing emphasis on their experiences will set the stage for ongoing discussions throughout the year.
Here, it is important to keep in mind that children’s goals may not always reflect the things that parents deem important. Something that your son or daughter views as extraordinarily important may seem far less vital than homework or study habits; however, allowing your children to voice their opinions and then receive your validation and support truly sends the message that you respect their individuality and appreciate their ambitions. This is where the act of outlining a few seemingly simple goals transforms into something much richer as your attention is focused on the things that hold the most weight in your children’s eyes.
So amidst the notebooks, assignment pads, and new class rosters, take a moment to set intentions as a family and share in what is truly important to your kids. At the same time, share your own goals and desires for the next few months. Once again, this allows you to model self-awareness and personal responsibility while sending the message that you are available and ready to listen even when the back- to-school hustle-bustle is as loud as ever.
Dr. O'Leary is a clinical psychologist who
specializes in conducting neurodevelopmental and neuropsychological assessments with children
(age 2-adolescence). She also provides cognitive-behavioral therapy for children with various
attentional, behavioral, emotional, and developmental struggles. She can be reached at (845)-313-9049.
