If you tuned in to last month’s article, you were introduced to some simple relaxation strategies geared towards younger children. While deep breathing and low lights can help any of us move towards calm, encouraging older children and teens to take responsibility for their stress levels can be more complex. Here are some ideas on how to best support your older child’s need for relaxation.
The first key to helping middle and high school students move towards relaxation is to teach them to accurately identify sources of stress. This may include some education about the way the human body experiences stress, such as sleep disturbance, appetite changes, more frequent illness, irritability, lack of concentration, and fatigue. Helping your child see that these issues may be stress related will put them a step closer to knowing when relaxation skills need to be put into action. In addition, pointing out just how much your child has on their plate may also be helpful. This will allow your son or daughter to appreciate the efforts they put forth on a daily basis, and may also encourage them to re-evaluate priorities if necessary.
Once your child or teen is able to recognize their individual stress signals, they will be ready to learn techniques aimed at restoring peace and relaxation. For some, simple breathing techniques are the best way to go. Others may need to alter their diet (removing caffeine and excess sugar, increasing protein intake), make a conscious effort to exercise on a regular basis, or improve sleep habits to reduce exhaustion.
One approach that may be attractive to older children and teens is practicing meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, or guided imagery. These techniques require some practice and dedication, but also provide excellent results. While books and classes are available to help build skills in these areas, your son or daughter may be more inclined to download instructional versions of these techniques to their iPod or MP3 player. This technology will allow them to have access to relaxation techniques wherever they are, and will make it possible for them to fall asleep in a state of calm rather than focusing on the next big test or latest social drama.
Whatever specific strategy your child finds most helpful, the process of exploring personal stressors and identifying individual reactions to feeling overwhelmed is a crucial life lesson. Once your son or daughter is able to see the stress coming, they will be more inclined to use positive strategies and less likely to rely on unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Dr. O'Leary is a clinical psychologist who specializes in conducting neurodevelopmental and neuropsychological assessments with children (age 2-adolescence). She also provides cognitive-behavioral therapy for children with various attentional, behavioral, emotional, and developmental struggles. She can be reached at (845)-313-9049.
