With the winter comes cold weather and snow and boy have we experienced that this year. The children have had so many snow days that the school districts are beginning to take days away from winter and spring vacation. It has been challenging at best for so many families trying to juggle work, the children being home from school, and the stress of the cold and snowy weather. It is human nature to find comfort in routines and schedules and this winter has just about thrown off any as semblance of a routine for most. A lot of energy is extended just to create a productive day for you and your children while holed up at home. One can begin to feel out of control. This is perfect breeding ground for neglecting your own self care. How do you know when you are neglecting yourself? The signs are clear:
- Are you angry at your children or partner and really don’t know why. Does the intensity of your anger far exceed the infraction? (Screaming over spilled milk?)
- Do you feel jealous when you partner chooses to take care of themselves? For example partaking in a hobby that takes them away from you.
- Do you feel unfocused and scattered? You forget what you went to get in the next room.
- Do you feel like you can’t think straight?
- Are you exhausted all the time no matter how much you sleep?
- Are you just plain old grumpy and don’t know why? You hear your loved ones saying, “What’s wrong with you???”
These are sure signs that you are not taking care of yourself. It becomes a problem when one begins to make all their unhappiness somehow be about what others in their life are or are not doing. The focus turns towards others and away from self.
So, what do you do about this?
- First off, don’t forget to breathe. Focusing on the breath takes you out of your head and away from the negative feelings.
- Accept the situation. Yes you may be holed up another day with your children with seemingly nothing to do. It’s ok. Try to look at the situation in a positive light, perhaps as a mini vacation.
- Let go of the plans you had for that day if it had not snowed. No sense holding on to something if it is not going to happen. The quicker you can move on the better you will feel.
- Put some structure in the day. Perhaps there are some activities you can plan with your children. i.e. cooking or baking together, watching a movie, reading to them, etc.
- Take time for you. Do something for yourself. Maybe there is a household project that you have been wanting to do and haven’t had a chance or a good book you’ve been meaning to read. Include your children if it’s not too stressful.
- If the weather is not too bad, spend some time outside enjoying the fresh air and get some exercise.
Spring is right around the corner and with the spring comes a new set of stresses so try to enjoy this time spent inside. Relax and breathe. Children grow up so quickly and you may miss these opportunities where you have them all to yourself.
Catherine Anesi, LCSW specializes in helping people transform their lives. She is a licensed clinical social worker and sees clients in her office in Croton. She also leads groups and retreats that aide in transformation. If you would like to contact her please email her at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or visit her website at www.catherineanesilcsw.com.
