OMG……….The holidays are coming. It’s already October, the leaves are changing, Halloween is almost here and the kids are finally settled in school and into a routine. The holidays are a great time for families to gather and bond in a loving way. However, some have not had such positive holiday experiences and depending on your past circumstances will determine how you view the holidays. The holidays can bring up some unwanted memories. Some have lost loved ones so the holidays can seem even more difficult. The holidays can be a stressful time. Sometimes it is our thoughts about the holidays that create this stressful time. Our thoughts create our reality.
It is our mindset that sets us up for success or failure in life and particularly in circumstances where we are triggered from the past. Do you ever find yourself thinking about what an event might be like before you get there? You may be dreading seeing Aunt so and so or an estranged sibling. You may remember an unfortunate incident that happened last year and cringe at the thought of being amongst those family members again. Doesn’t it always seem like there is always one in the crowd that upsets everyone else? The more we focus on these negative experiences the more we are likely to create another similar negative event. It is interesting to listen to your thoughts and catch yourself when you are thinking about something negative.
Flipping those thoughts around to something positive will help you to create a more positive experience. For instance, instead of thinking how you are going to dread being with Aunt so and so, focus on the relatives you really want to be with. Think of all the wonderful holidays you have had with that person. Make sure you plan your holiday season exactly as you want it to be. Set boundaries. Say no if you need to without guilt. If you can’t plan the entire season the way you want to at least make sure you take care of yourself most or some of the time. By focusing on the positive you will see that your holiday season will flow easily and be more pleasant then you ever could have imagined.
Catherine Anesi, LCSW specializes in helping people transform their lives. She is a licensed clinical social worker and sees clients in her office in Croton. She also leads groups and retreats that aide in transformation. If you would like to contact her please email her at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or visit her website at www.catherineanesilcsw.com and facebook at Catherine Anesi, LCSW, RM.
