[Editor’s Note: The methods described in this article are effective ONLY if you are properly trained.]
Safety is an attitude and fear is its worst obstacle. As the director of Go No Sen Karate Educational Center in the Cortlandt area, as well as an internationally recognized authority on rape and assault prevention, I teach women how to gain the attitude toward safety they need in order to avoid becoming victims. The strategies I teach are based on a system I’ve developed called the R.A.D. System (Recognize, Avoid, Defend).
The reason most rapists say they violated their victims is because the victims send out the “wrong signals.” This is also true in the animal kingdom. The bigger, stronger animal attacks the smaller, weaker one. Likewise, human attackers look for easy prey.
You can learn to send out the right signals by projecting confidence, especially in situations where you are afraid. Here are three simple ways:
1. Stand tall with your back straight and shoulders back.
2. Keep your eyes focused, not down.
3. Speak strongly with conviction, being assertive not aggressive.
The key here is to act confident even if you are not. Practice in the mirror, on your friends, or family members. If you think you are an easy target, so will an attacker. Using these simple techniques, my sister avoided a potentially dangerous situation in New York City. As she was walking down a dark, empty street, she realized that she was being followed. Her follower started calling to her, “Hey, baby.” She glanced in a passing store window to ascertain his size, and then suddenly stopped in her tracks. He was caught so far off guard by her stopping that he almost collided with her. She looked him right in the face and assertively told him to go away and leave her alone. He did.
My sister understood that fear is a False Experience Appearing Real. Fear is identified by both your mind and your level of self-confidence, and you control it. You can learn to manage your fear and to transform it into energy that can enable you to do the impossible. The best way to accomplish this is to practice until safety is natural. You can do this by “role playing,” or acting out fear – producing situations, either alone or with a partner. This will help you to learn how to control your mental state and decision-making process so that you can control a dangerous situation.
You can also learn what I call the ABC’s of self-protection. A stands for Avoid dangerous situations. For instance, you can avoid going out alone at night. B stands for Be calm, breathe. When you panic, the best way to calm down is by focusing on breathing. C stands for Communicate effectively with confidence and authority. As my sister did by looking at her assailant and speaking confidently, you can reduce a threat through both your verbal and physical actions.
These elements can be developed in different ways. You can gain the confidence and skills you need by enrolling in a martial arts school. You can attend self-defense courses. You can purchase books or instructional videotapes on self-defense. Regardless of the approach, to become proficient you must practice. You must constantly be aware of your surroundings and work at your ability to recognize, avoid, and defend!
Be safe and Confident!
